Dear Dierdre

It has been roughly 20 days since my last confession.

Nothing has changed. Life is boring. Christmas is sorted

Two weeks off work has helped me crack through the Buffy saga from start to season 4

Big week planned from the 10th to the 17th..
10th Family Dinner
14th Disney Roadshow - Edinburgh
16th Staff night out
17th Families Christmas party

I may be dead by Christmas

You load 16 tons and what do you get?

Another day older and deeper in debt. St peter don't you call me because i can't go
I owe my soul to the company stove.

Classic from the 1950's at 1955 it was the highest selling single, pretty impressive.

I've decided to turn my attention from work and really focus on my piano since it seems to be the only thing keeping me sane. Practised for the entire day. Learned a very beautiful piece. At the end of today i've looked back on my progress and realised to what end did i practise this?

To quench my hunger for learning, impress others or out of sheer boredom. When you don't know the answer then a daunting truth hits, a voice that says 'No one will hear this piece' In essense is my day wasted? No.

I look back on today and say, i havnt practised like that for years. The dynamics of this piece still need attention and that will only come after it becomes fluent. However, i have learned a new style of playing that i had only seen being used. With this realisation, i know that this song i learned so that someone would fall in love with me.

Who wants that honey?

My blood boils. I cannot sleep.

My head is filled with thoughts of my love, her curves send my soul on fire. However when i close my eyes to sleep my minds filled with confrontation of violent nature. So tell me do i suffer from Lust or Wrath.

I know which one i want to suffer from. I think i'll tell her.

Besides the point, i cannot sleep.

Now i'm nostalgic as to back in the day when i'd hang out with friends near everyday and we'd record songs. That was real happiness. It feels like my lifes wasting away now.. I need some action in my life and i'm gonna get it. Roll on a band! (Again)

I've decided i can't sleep because i'm excited to see her

Holidays almost over

Whereas i have nothing to show for my week off i'm very happy to say i've enjoyed myself which was exactly what i needed.

I've learned that going up Falkirk town is always a constant mistake. I have no idea why i keep trying. Had more fun at home having a little drink with family and friends. In that sense i am exactly like my parents. I'm not seeing the allure of going out, i wonder if you do.

Now to just look forward to the christmas period =D

On an extremely brighter note! in 3 weeks time i have another fortnight off...oh yes

Why won't the pumpkins come back to the UK?

Poptart, whats the matter?

Did you lose what your after?

Went out last night for the first time in ages, didn't go as bad as i thought it would. A nice break.. eventually all the girls started talking about breasts and got some really awkward feeling so we left!

Death row and New Vegas night which was fun. Apart from snoring, this guy snores like a motherf*cker. I've been up since 6.

Darker Morning & Darker Days make me happy. I'll just try to hold on

Here is no why

Desperate and displeased. With whoever you are. Your a star.

Lost inside the dreams, of teen machines.

The world is a vampire.

Sittin still was never enough

Intoxicated with the madness, i'm in love with my sadness

Time is never time at all. You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth.

Despite all my rage i'm still just a rat in a cage!

Shakedown 1979, cool kids never have the time

Who wants that honey? just as long as theres some money.

Tell me all of your secrets, cannot help but believe them.

Tell me i'm the only one, jesus had no other son

Try to hold on, to this love. A little bit longer.

Try, try, try, try, try, try, try

Poptart, whats our mission? do we know but never listen

We must never be apart.

I know you better than your thinking

Anphetamine, annie dog...

And i don't even care to shake these zipper blues

Fool enough to almost be it, cool enough to not quite see it.

Pick your pocket full of sorrow, run away with me tomorrow.

Try and ease the pain, somehow we feel the same well
no one knows, where our secrets go

I send my heart to all my dearies when your life is so so dreary

I'm over to the straight and narrow, where the harlots of my perils scream.

And i'll fail, but when i can. I will
Try to understand. That when i can, i will

I just want to be me.

Mother weep the years i'm missing, all that time can't be given...back

Week Off!

In a week! but i'm still looking forward to it. I have been offered to go stay in Milton Keynes with my Auntie whom i miss dearlie but i think i'd rather leave that to my two week holiday in November! Buzzing!

I will do something with it. Unlike last time when it was wasted away on long lies and in general 'lazy days'

Re-discovered a love for Europe - The Swedish 80's band who couldn't find any luck with producers in their home country, came to ours and found fame. Every song is basically the same, but it's that distinction, that tiny difference in each song that makes it so much more special. Gives you the seem feel so you know it's the same band but has a completely different meaning. Truly amazing at their respective instruments.

I don't think i can handle or be bothered with 6 new members of staff... it's all so similiar as last time.

I need suggestions honeybunch

How

Can you reignite my fire in a look and a smile. Damn your slender tender appearance!

Tonight i fairly kicked ass, my manager even admitted it. I'm feeling awesome for sure. Even better is that tomorrow is my day off. I want something planned but i'm not sure what. The realisation of how short this life is... it's getting me down. I need a plan and a darn good one. The funny thing is i think i might get one..

I wish i could see you sleep...







not Edward Cullen style

Wrath

Today, i gave into one of the most destructive sins. For a minute i lost myself and for a lifetime i'll regret it. I've never been much of an angry person, i lost who i was over something so trivial. Something i should have been to shrug off as 'they are an idiot' but was unable to. I gave into my destructive nature, and the things i wanted to do were brutal. It's only untill i'm writing this that i understand that with enough wrath one could no doubt destroy the world.

It couldn't have been the subject at hand, so where does my rage come from. Maybe i do know and am too afraid to say. Eek

On the other hand...TimeCrimes! finally came in the post and i'm buzzing, for i was told it was awesome and i did believe...it's looking epic so far. So the breakdown is; a man lives out his normal day untill when he wakes up he see's a woman running naked in the woods, he does what every good civilian would do (Really!?) and go out and see. When he arrives in the woods, she's dead and a psychopath weilding a pair of scissors and a pink bandage over his head chases the man, succeeding to stab him. After a long running scene the man escapes to a silo. He meets a scientist who promises him that he can hide in this tub of liquid (right) to escape the masked killer. Upon jumping in the tub, he quickly comes out only to realise it's earlier in the day and the scientist doesn't recognise him. SO! he decides to go home and finds himself living out the day as he had. Then he see's a naked girl in the wood so once again he investigates. This time he gets there maybe a minute earlier? to watch himself getting chased in the same scenario.

I'd keep talking but it just gets too complicated from here on...awesome film though, very excited!

Now your a man!

i've swallowed my pride, i'm doing what i can cos now i'm a man

Well.. Yesterday was a day unlike any other. Woke up on time, got to work 15 min early and done a huge blow for barbarianism and kicked my paperworks ass...but wait, thats not all. I also did the managers daily check too. Never realised how easy would could be if i got a little perspective! Thus i have changed my title too - Super Efficient Supervisor Craig Alston of Falkirk!!!

And today is my day off and guess what? it's the 25th anniversary of back to the future so i know what i'm doing.

I know i'm just less than three months before the big woosh but i'm getting pre-christmas tingles. I love it, for me it's constant happiness along with warn fuzzy feelings despite the weather. I know i won't be able to get my car out of my drive though.. grrr

Please

Motivation

I can't seem to find any

Behind every great man is a great woman. If the saying holds true i shall become an elder god.

I shall aspire high, i'll face what i hate and i'll grow stronger for it.
What am i talking about? Uni of course! I may be late but it's better than never.

I may lack the higher to gain entry to my desired course but i'im sure my other qualifications and experience will hold.

Here goes, Wish me luck!

When will you come back to me my love?

Black hole sun

Won't you come?

It has been a month and not a lot has changed in my life.

I can claim that i've been on a night out for the first time in months which is a small win. Watched 'Moon' with Sam Rockwell & Kevin Spacey which has been my plan for a while. It doth rock.

I'm getting the pre christmas feeling right about now. When Halloween has passed it'll hit me full force... damn advertising. On the other hand it does inspire joy like none ever seen.

Catch me in the right mood at christmas and i'll do anything that isn't illegal or unsanitary!

More importantly lies the choice at the end of next month. My purchasing skills are key. I'd go as far as to say legendary but..

Less is more???

I'm going to pull you in close

I've found my christmas song!
Long day at work. Sorcerers Apprentice with Chiz afterwards. It's all very enjoyable.

I'm teary tonight, i might just be tired. Theres no escapism or any peace. Even 'the picture of Dorian Gray' doesn't relax me, the amount of homo-eroticism is very uncomfortable. It's no wonder he was sent to jail..Not that it's a bad book or he's a bad writer...

Mini rant/ First chapter breakdown - 'So right i'm painting your picture and you mind that guy i mentioned one time that i met in a bar?'

'Aye?'

'Well i'm gonna describe him as a beautiful perfect being for about 12 pages and how he's all amazing and all mine and i feel like i've projected something of myself into him. He completes me.'

'Ok, Lets meet him.'

'No...aw ok then'. FIN

Not long till christmas

Disarm

Week off. Busy one. Ohh yaaa

Electric razor started working again so hell yeah to that. In the habit of going to sleep at 5 in the morning, waking up 5 at night. Need to get my pattern back and get my three meals a day back in.

Think i may get myself that laptop finally. Get myself a wee cam and make a photography folder. Something different that i can reflect on...

Smallvilles getting awesome

80th

It's my grandfathers birthday tonight and it's been an awesome night.

So why am i so sad?

He's one crazy old coot...gave me the whole shpeil about joining the masons and what not which the constant background question 'do you believe in god?' eventually you have to say yes...i mean...he's old.. haha

I've found someone new in my life, her name is lizzy caplan and she's an american actress born in los angeles..Now i just need to get there..and famous..and sexually attractive.. and every other desirable feature... damn.

Almost my week off from work. I'll need to plan ^-^

Doomsday

Today was my first day off in a while, Really needed it. I'm falling to bits

Visited my grandmothers grave today, got me to thinking how well i knew her, what her message was to me. I'd like to believe the only reason we exist in each others lives is to affect their development in a certain way, so how did she relate to me apart from being the woman i used to adore.

Glasses have broken, car broke down, lost a float. I think i'm going insane. Need to lay off the hardcore cocaine and get my head sorted.

M where are you

could use someone to talk to

Beautiful Disaster

Today seems like a good day, burn a bridge or two.

4 Opens in a row. Takes me back to the school and college days. Can't really be bothered with it. Eclipse aswell.

This is turning out so be one really sad week guys! Darkest before the dawn and all that so here's praying...Lottery!!!

A month gone by without a blog, i think it may be going out of fashion

Smallville rolls on.

Fragile

Not only a yes album.

My health has been failing over the past few days but i'm glad to report that i havn't felt better!

Seems like everythings slightly looking up. i'm quite glad. I've always been happy but never this much.

Really motivated to do something amazing..

i think i have an idea...

Poetry is the new calling! <3

No more Smallville....PLEASE!!!

i'm hooked on smallville. i have no idea why, it's terrible.

Like a terrible batch of cocaine - it's got all the crap of the day mixed it
15% - Predictable Bad Guy
10% - Predictable Ending
14.9% - Lana Lang
60% - Meteor shards causing evolution in the townsfolk (Every single frikkin episode!)
0.1% - Baking Powder/Soap Powder/Cocaine/Lex Luthor

But i can't stop watching it because Lex Luthor's the man...

Whether It's Kevin Spacey or Michael Ronsenbaum, He's rocking me slightly...
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It's because he's bald like Billy Corgan, OK!?

Ohhhh heart! your heart! our heart!

oh jee whizz...oh boy and all the other silly sayings!

<3!

have no idea what i'm saying... okay... i'm leaving now =)

Countdown!

It's been a while!

This shall be very brief. I'm 4 days away from becoming 20. The feelings slightly scary, exiting my teens. Spooky stuff....next thing you know i'll be doing manly stuff like drinking beer and gambling...slash!

Oh work time is here! please come by and save me, an easy shift though but woooooooooooo. I'm almost getting a week off =) I'm buzzing!!!!!!!!

Come dine with me x

Lets get drunk untill we can't feel feelings!

This is how i feel, spur of the moment emotions flowing!

Today i believe i've made the most of my day, starting with volunteer work for a marketing team under falkirk council. It's something new and wonderous! A bit of exaggeration though i don't mind something extra to do, my life is truly starting to bore me...

The weekend is almost upon me! and i'm slightly excited it's all going down now =)

In the past two days i've been totally lost in my work. Completely forgot that i loved music or that i had a social life outside work. Today i'm really still feeling that tension because i seem to be un-motivated to do anything.. i.e Lets get it started ( I know its not the greatest choice but music is like love, you just can't choose who you do) The bassline inspires me but i really can't be bothered!

Grrrrrrrr inner tiger hatred spinning punch!!!

Time to really hit the bottle! (For those of you reading, i rarely drink. Honestly)

Oh Joyce, Lord Save Me

Under the bridge

Tonight is gonna be the late night of destruction. Ladder training, super meeting and the count all within a time limit.

God save me. or send someone to help!

18 days and i am a new man =D Thats right on the eve of my 20th birthday i'm gonna be purely buzzing. Nothing planned however...i need idea's so i don't look like i'm completely boring. Maybe i'm starting the pre-birthday buzz a bit early...gonna be shattered by the 20th muhahahah but i love eeeeeet!

oh "M" your like my M-burger even though i never had one and i'm not sure i'd like it but you still rock =) Your reminding me of an everly brother song right now, dreaaaaaam dream dream dream

Sing it back MOLOKOOOOOOOOOO

Ever tidied your room and found like a bunch of useless crap that relates to memories? yes? well this is one of my days!

Today i'm feeling very energetic, so i'm putting this energy towards tidying along to a remix of a classic song i do love. In my cleaning mission the first item that came to my attention was a collection of photo's my father made for me from our old computer years and years ago.. reminds me of my wild-child side! all the trips i've ever been on and friends accross the years!

This one on the rights from yeaaaars ago when i was like 12/13 maybe just about to attend a wedding. Almost 7/8 years ago, Though i think he still looks pretty close to the finished product =D

Moving onnnnnnnnn...

I found a little safe my mother had bought me years back because i loved storing money, just knowing i had it, counting it, sorting it into little bundles. Sad right?

Maybe

But i did find a lot of awesome stuff i'd left behind including £100!!!! Long forgotton but i remember now when i was younger and i got my first job i put that away for a just incase fund...smart little cookie ;) . Stored beside that was a ticket for spiderman 2 on 25/7/04 Which i remember very vividly. T'was a boring summers day and Big in Falkirk was on the go, it was completely awful so me and some friends went to the cinema instead! This was the first time i'd went to the new cinema, it was also the first time i met my predecessor, Martyn Dundas. I was just 14 and at the time he was a multifunctional, the only reason he stood out was because i was taken by shock at a Martyn with a "Y".... well i thought it was pretty sweet at the time ok! So i got a picture with him serving at the counter and saw spiderman 2 which was awesome!

Among my lost items i found a ticket for an old band called "Wishbone Ash" whom i went to see at the liquid room with my father and Craig T. Ages ago! We learned two of their songs and they didn't play either of them, totally gutted.

It's unbelievably sunny so i'm gonna get off this and sit outside sipping some sailor J and cola. It's a good day =)

Pretty fly for a white guy!

On a slightly lighter note, star wars...its escapism!

A saturday off is just what i need, though i have not a lot to do with it...slightly feel like neglecting my creative side! All the movies out are totally gash. Everyones busy. Everydays a new day!

it's decided then i'm gonna do something epic. Something unexpected, or maybe keep watching star wars. grrrrrrr boredom kill me not!

Given the time, i suppose i should mention the election or something. Everyones bad mouthing each other so it's quite difficult to tell a good party from a bad one. No positive points at all. What a mess politics has become.

aaaaaaaaaand i know i'm about 25 days away from it but the day of reckoning is coming when i shall become 20 and the lord shall falter down into depths, Satan himself shall knight me his weapon of terror on blades of frost and bubbling scolding waters. In other words i'll probably do something stupid like go to the time capsule, as silly as it seems i do love the sauna, steam room, jacuzi, ice skating! Really rocks my socks off

taking a look at the date again it's just about 20 days! Woooooo

Okay its quarter past 3 and there's no reason to stay up so i'm gonna have some coffee and dream a little dream

I turn my back, close my eyes, walk the other way.

But still stuck in the same place.

Hello all. I'm Craig, and since i can remember i've detested drugs or people who use drugs for no purpose. Tonight was the enivitable climax of the dramatic scene i'd like to call "a friendship lost". As silly as it might seem to me to be judging, there's method in my madness.

christ knows what i'm saying anymore. The fact of the matter is, i cannot condone what has been done. In the split minute i had to think of my decision, i looked at what the just Craig Alston would do...or what the forgiving one would do. Ultimately ever factor of my being had known the answer since long before. I drove away, contrary to running away since this problem will continue...

I've made my decision and i'll stick by it. In the end i never really needed any guidance because i've always known the answer to this problem so many people fall victim to. All i nedeed was someone to confide in. To understand...

Now i'm left with one person

is one person enough?

Darker Than Black

Have you ever felt so used up as this?

4 closes in a row and i've got a headache. However this is the lesser of 2 evils.

I wish i could go on saying something really philosophical like an end to war through removing law and instating a utilitarian community world-wide...but i'm not that smart. There's only one thing stuck on my mind and i am a total sucker for you...

So much so that i can't think of anything to write in this blog, that an i have a massive headache.

My birthday is coming up and my mothers getting very anxious as her's is the day before mine. Always conjuring some whacky idea of a joint party though her popularity far outshines mine. My idea of a good time would be to get surprised, hasn't happened in years but i'm hopeful.

At this very second there's a high pitch frequency humming in my ear and it's killing me!

Tuesday...Count night....always starts alright...ends up shite...and graemes tight
so we all share the lust for deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeath!!!!!!

Thats my count song...made it up last tuesday =)

Tonight, Tonight

Time, is never time at all. You can never ever leave. Without leaving a piece of youth. And our lives are forever changed, we will never be the same. The more you change the less you feel.

A week on and i am laptop shopping, not got any clue in the world at all about laptops. So i'm getting the worst person (my father) to come shopping with me (i hope) to make this terrible decision!

This week is full of what if's? and its got me wondering horrifying things, living day dreams i tell thee! like looking at the worst possible scenario in almost every situation...as morbid as the feeling is i suppose i'd be prepared. what's the old line? Expect the best, Prepare for the worst.

On a slightly lighter note relighted my love for the pumpkins a little though i'm searching for the next big kick to steal my imagination. Billy Corgan is my marmite. On an even lighter note, 4 days till M comes home and i am....buzzing =) someone's getting a sucker punch for leaving the country!

Repo-men : Go see if you like Jude Law, Forest Whittaker and half a movie. Now lets hear the truth... I like Jude and i'm an even bigger Forest fan, the plot was pretty good yeah its not original but it was given a different spin. But the ending...COME ON! PLEEEASE don't make us pay full price for half a film i mean jeez i was really buzzing about the ending even though it was disturbingly grotesque with a sex/mutilation scene but then boom. Nuclear. The dream was over and two hours of my life had been stripped.

Lovely girl, your the murder in my world

Signing off

Summer Madness

and today of all days is the day when i knew i had fallen for the girl of my dreams. The thoughts i had spared before were hers to keep, and i knew i'd never be alone.

Third sunny day in a row! spring is rolling in and this is my first day off work while it's sunny. What to do!
So far i've got up, showered, breakfast, said goodbyes, played football, went shopping, went home and had dinner and now i'm stuck for what to do.

Playing guitar to myself and humming? Maybe

New update, a string just snapped so that idea's out the window.

My hairs returned to its natural sway! which is a plus, i always get so worried that this time when it grows it won't go back and sway the way it did but it always does ^_^

Craig A Signing out

Oh boy, what a day

And it ain't even started yet.

Tonight will be my first 11hour+ shift and i'm sensing the fatigue and trepedation already. So it is coffee central. Thats right its a 1-12 or whenever we finish!

I know jamiroquai will get me through somehow

Lord save me, i just fixed my sleeping pattern!

Grrrr

Anger- i'm not feeling it but i probably should. Thursday night is the mother of paperworks and i have Alison. Have no idea at all how to do it and she's not one for asking muhahahahaha kill me

"Everyone has a dark side, why don't you like mine?"

Jamie has gone and i can't trust anyone else with my beautiful head of my hair! 2 week holiday without telling me! there shall be blood.

Fathers grave FTW

Work soon

i must rush

my resolve broken, i retreat to what i'm good at

This corner of the earth

This corner of the earth is like me in many ways. I could sit for hours here and watch the emerald feathers play. On the face of it i'm blessed when the sunlight comes for free. I know this corner of the earth, it smiles at me.

Hellish shift last night. All went wrong. Glad i'm in bed however i'll be doing the same shift tonight. Given it probably won't be as bad since its sunday...but i can garuntee finishing before 10 to 2

I believe its time to stop focusing on work and take a look at reinventing myself on the visual level in the form of shaving and a hair cut and shopping!!!! DING DING DING DING alarms go off!

I Hate Hairdressers

Dancing in the moonlight.

Well its been like half a month since my last confession.. and i'll admit truthfully nothing is different...retail training or my SAM course went reasonably well and i think i've become a slightly better supervisor for it.

however on every other front i'm the same as before.. i'm slowly discovering that i'll have to make a decision with my life which i feel unprepared to make as i'm unsure as to what my future holds or what i really want to do...

On the other hand i'm able to see the difference between the person i want to be and he who made all the wrong decisions. as long as i focus on these two people i'll always know the right choice

New York Minute

Half a months later, nothing to report.
Now just realising the chain is missing from my neck Where could i have taken it? how long have i been without it?

On the other hand, work is going well! very well. A dramatic improvement they say, makes me wonder what they thought before. Who cares, i can't deny my masterful awesomeness!

Lately i'm distracted... A girl is stuck on my mind which is barely a good sign contrary to the feelings i'm getting. oh dear.

Could this be the end for Craig Alston?

Will this love sick puppy recover to transform back into Clark Kent and save the Cine-World?

Find out next time on The Mars Volta Revolution

Undisclosed Desires

Yesterday was Valentines day ans the culmination of a week of planning! It didn't go amazing. On the other hand our playing love songs live didn't really fail either.

The main point being i survived and thoroughly enjoyed my day!

I gave a girl a gift. Then she handed my ass to me and gave me something super-awesome. Note to self, next time go super-awesome. Seriously though i've never been given something this lovely....or anything for valentines day but it sure does rock!

i'll leave this log till some other exciting phenomenon occurs...since the laptop is burning my legs

The Book of Love

The book of love is long and boring... and written very long ago. It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes. And things were all too young to know


My training course of one day came and went and now i should be top of my game but only in my mind set. I've already put my stuff into practise and its a lot more efficient. Now to make it the norm.

Emotions flowing with me this weekend.. and it all started with this one song....buuuuuuuut i'll get to that point.

Firstly, i'm one of two supers helping organising valentines day at the cinema and it feels really good, like it might be a great success, because of my idea! All the managers agree its a great idea, one is especially enthusiastic, as is my fellow super.. Sooo my suggestion was to get 2 multi's and 1 super playing an acoustic, keyboard and singing love songs for those coming into the two showings of pretty woman. Everyone seems real enthusiastic and ready for it which is great.

This one song i was told to learn though i was a tad iffy about at first but now i'm in love with. Really nice song..gonna have to hold back the tears when playing this epic song. That is actually my main fear for this occasion! frightening. For those who are thinking of going here is the song list:

Pretty Woman - Roy Orbison
Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton
November Rain - Guns 'N' Roses
Don't want to miss a thing - Aerosmith
The book of love - Peter Gabriel
Always - Bon Jovi

Wish me good luck!

To give to her the priceless peace

of giving up control.

First off, i love the smashing pumpkins. There is no doubt.
But these first two songs from their new album make me feel quite ill. i'm starting to miss jimmy....

today is my only day off this week and i'm starting it early...just woke up at 1 =). Craig is meeting this guitarist to see if he's any good today and it should be fun!
Last night i had a dream of the last band i was in, i dreamt we didn't screw up our chances and actually played at king tuts, very depressing.. so close. Then again i wouldnt have got a job at cineworld or become super or anything. Maybe thats my motivation for this new band, regrets of drug addicted teenagers pulling my ambitions back. Its on my mind more now than ever.

i'm outwith my comfort zone with people that aren't james or craig. It could all go the same way as before, luckily this guy is young so hopefully he won't be as stupid as the others.

mucho money in the bank but not 2 cells in my mind to collaberate on what to buy... probably the best thing because i'll have absolutely loads in 2 weeks!

My baby takes the morning train

A pretty awesome week!
Not only finding a guitarist for this new band but now a possible bassist. Go me!

Also, broke the ice with the girl that wants me dead at work. Cracked out e olde charisma and made a roll of 45! thought the difficulty was about 5000. So that means i said "hi/hows it going?/bye/have a nice night" with absolutely no response.. but thats not the point! I figure if i keep the friendly jestures one day she'll crack (Either by slaughtering me, my friend and family or by saying hi back) one way or another i can say i've tried...another reason to keep any kind of social contact is that is dissolves the trepedacious atmosphere that oozes from her presence.

Win

I got invited out for a valentines outting thing. pretty awesome, first time for everything..

9 and a half hours on floor...magic

We can work it out?

try to see things my way. do i have to keep on talking till i can't go on?

Band Progress! enough said. classic fun meeting the guitarist who's a tad on the young side. the sacrifice is worth it when you can see crazy j say something like "yeah man, we'll take you up the p...park or something" gotta love the moments you think something to yourself then chance your mind half way. who knows he may be good.

Ninja Assassin - FTW
Daybreakers - For the epic fail

this is das brief post. i'm a busy man in sleep. terrible day at work....dreadful...no break and too busy to do much of anything. *happy sigh*
I know what my colleagues are thinking, impressed? its not difficult i can tell from their eyes when they look at me. they think the stress is taking my personality from me. making me distant and slightly more aggresive.

the punchline?
they're not wrong

just takes time to ease into my position...question being. will yours truly survive that long to find his equilibrium?

todays not a total loss... this girl keeps giving me butterflies...damn her..

i like elipses, can you tell?

L'via L'viaquez

Well the first day on my super specific area really went bad. it was a joint effort it took to screw it all up... practise though. finally finished counting stock at 2 in the morn.

It was the early rise for college thats the killer.

played mein klavier for the first time in ages today.. forgot how relaxing it is..or that i could do half the things i can! The one thing that i find really amusing is picking up a song in my head, soon as i get the first note building it up and in 10 minutes being able to play the song. Today the classic was "better off alone" by alice deejay... not my first choice but it really does stick.

a band is what i need. take my mind off work even for a while. i forgot the rush of playing to a crowd. thats what im gonna do then.

expect progress the next time! i think i have a name for a band alrready =)

Another Day

first time, here goes.

in recent days i've noticed the importance of not so close family (cousins, nephews etc) Used to be that family was i thought mattered since contact outside it is rare.

The scenario being walking from the main road down my drive in ice, like black ice. so hellish! in pitch black aswell.given the circumstance i had to link arms with my cousin to get through it, which didn't work.In retrospect i think it may have been safer and a lot drier walking seperately but there's something about making the journey together thats comforting. Even if its only a few metres of ice.

For another thing i'm not sure this blog business really works. For one trying to write what i'm thinking is all well and good but its not a real representation of how an epiphany can hit someone or the exact order they think it. Also the stuff i'm saying right now doesnt seem relevant to life in general.

Nevertheless, i'll keep going in the hopes maybe i'll get the hang of this.

my morning was mainly taken up with conversation between myself and one of my managers. Behind the covering smile, i have no real idea what she could be thinking, and it scares me. It's her twisted english, the word choice says one thing and the tone goes completely the other way. Very uncomfortable. I figure as long as i'm polite and smile she'll never unleash whats behind the mask and thats a safe bet i'm willing to take...

As for tonight, its my first time taking on my designated duty as supervisor with my paired supervisor. She says she hasn't got a clue what to do and i'm on the same level haha.. so i'll play out tonight and see how it goes. Still very exciting to see what will happen.

i think i should wrap this up. wish me luck.